PLEASE READ THIS EVEN THOUGH IT'S VERY LONG!!!It was about this time one year ago that Blake's Spectacular Spidey RPG caught my eye - and my life was never the same again! Choosing to take the chance and try it out, I was sucked into the TV.com forum, making lots of friends and having a great place to spend my time whenever I'm bored! So, in honor of my Estimated One Year Anniversary, I'm gonna do a little candlelighting speech!
So, here goes. I'm socially awkward. I can not hold a conversation with a group for my life. I'm fine when there's only one person, but I zone out too much when I'm in groups, and whenever I want to say something, someone else starts talking before I can find an opening! It's kind of annoying, actually....
I haven't really spoken much about my personal life outside of what I like to call "my geeky forums," but better late than never. Last year about this time, I went through a very difficult time in my life. My parents were constantly fighting at home. My sister, who had dropped out of college for the year (she always planned to go back this year - she just didn't like the community college) fought a lot too. As a result, my house was something of a warzone, with constant yelling all the time. It had been like that for a while, but I had kept kidding myself that it would get better.
In January of last year, a girl at my school died - hit by a train, assumed suicide. Honestly, it didn't affect me much - I knew her, but not well. There was a memorial service, though, which I wanted to go to, half out of respect, half out of a need to get out of the house. I asked my best friend at the time (who had been my best friend for years) if he wanted to go with me, but the night before, he decided he'd opt out. He always had strange tendencies, and lately we hadn't been hanging out much. My parents assumed that we weren't friends anymore and we all got into a yelling fit, until I went upstairs to take an hour-long shower. During that time, my parents called my friend's house, and he got so pissed that we stopped talking.
It was around that time I began to get the idea into my head that I was friendless. That all those who I thought were my friends weren't friends at all, but just random people who never even gave me an ounce of thought, and would rather if I just left them all alone. I had resorted to my life at school as a home away from hell, but now, I didn't even belong there.
That brings us to late February, around this time, when I came to the TV.com forums. beegk was my first friend here. Soon, I found a lot of friends - it became my new home. Which is.... quite pathetic, actually. I was literally those guys you see on TV who have no life and just spend all their time in front of a screen talking with people they never met. Lol.
My point is, it gave me an outlet. I won't say I used it to escape reality - if anything, I used it to improve reality. I feel as though it was the friends here that proved to be that I wasn't just some random loser who would never go anymore, that whatever problems I had, they were fixable.
When I went to SVA last summer - remember that? - it was the best month of my life, without any exaggeration. All I missed from home was my dog. Literally. When I got back, I found out that my parents were getting divorced and we'd be moving when I graduate. A couple of weeks later, my dad left for Queens, though I still see him a lot on weekends.
By this point, I had come to realize that I had quite a number of friends, and that if I felt excluded from social situations, it wasn't because people didn't like me - just because I didn't really get involved that much. So I made a vow entering my senior year that I'd get more involved - and I have!
By now, there's a large amount of people who I can consider true friends. I've made up with my old best friend too, though we aren't as close as we once were. I still can't wait to graduate, but now I feel like there's something I'm leaving behind.
I still don't want to move, but otherwise, life is good. And I thank all of you for being my friends in the time when I needed it most. Whether you knew it or not, you've all made a drastic impact on my life. So now, I'm gonna say a little bit about each of you.
Blake: You were my first friend on TV.com. It was your RPG which got me involved in all this. Really, without you, none of this would've happened! And yeah, the RPG fell through - I've been meaning to reveal all my old ideas for that - but it was fun while it lasted, and I wouldn't change any of it!
I have a lot of respect for you, dude. Seriously, how many 13-year-olds (you're 13, right?) can just come right out and say - "Hey everybody! I'm gay and I'm proud!" That's not an easy thing to do, and I hope no one gives you a hard time for it. Being who you are is the most important thing in life, and I'm proud to call you my friend.
Cradleman: If nothing else, you're a lot of fun to argue with. If you watched Avatar, you'd get the reference....
Uh, yeah.... When I was banned from TV.com, you said, "Screw this - we're making our own forum!" That's probably the most awesome thing anyone's ever done for me. You're the oldest one here except for maybe Nick, and yet, you treat every single one of us like equals. Except when you're exerting your godly admin powers, that is....
*cough*JusticeLeaguerII*cough*But seriously now.... I know you've been through a rough time lately, and I hope you get through it all right. The pain can't last forever - and you never know, maybe you'll get back together! Just keep on going, dude!
Sports: Uh, we're the same age, aren't we? That's pretty cool - someone on here is the same age as I am.
I sometimes feel like you don't post that much, but when we do talk, I'm always happy. You're a good friend, sports - and my pick for the second-main character of Heroes and Villains! Sure, it was randomized, but that's besides the point! You've been here since the beginning - I've known you since my earliest days here - and you've always been a lot of fun. (Remember, I'm a drama kid, and we use that term a lot.) I honestly can not quite put my finger on it, but something about you that makes me consider you one of my best friends on this site. Which is weird, 'cause I hate sports with a passion! So I guess just thanks for being a friend.
Nick: And look who posts even less! Yeah, since I've been improving my life, I haven't had much time for BRPGs and the like, and that's really all you do, so we haven't exchanged much in.... quite a while....
Still, I recall you being a great writer, and that you wanted to be a filmmaker just like me.... Which is awesome. This is the paradox of life: Our beliefs are polar opposites. I'm a bizarre Jew who doesn't even think religious scriptures were meant to be taken literally, and you're a devout Christian with a strong hold on God, and yet we're great friends! Hey, remember that we were arguing about religion but only because we both thought the other was trying to insult us? Yeah, that was funny....
Y'know, we once said that it would be cool if we ever got a chance to make a movie together. Well, I'm still up for it! Seriously, in ten years, if we're both famous, we should try to find each other, exchange ideas, choose one, and make it. Don't forget now!
Frostbite: Okay, I know I've said this about everyone so far, but you are awesome. You're also a robot vampire pirate snowman from the third dimension, who hates Burt Reynolds, in 3D!
Back during our war with JusticeLeaguer, you were my primary accomplice. You were probably the only one who was just as pissed as I was and it was a fun protest. (I'd add in a "while it lasted," but somehow, I'm not so sure that that's accurate....) And, of course, our big plan was for you to stack up the contribution points until you overcame JusticeLeaguer. Some plan, lol. Still, it was great having someone who thought the same exact way that I did. It was also great having the support of everyone else - including a mod (speaking of whom, why the hell isn't he here??)! So thanks for that, you robot vampire pirate snowman from the - oh, whatever, it gets old after a while....
SGK: I don't have much to say, except that you're easily the funniest guy on the forum. No matter what's going on, you always have something witty and clever to add, and I simply love it. Reading your posts always cheer me up.
SGK's Evil Alterego: How dare you not like Spectacular Spider-Man!
Zane: What? Did you think I forgot about you? Hell no! I was just saving you for last!
I pick on you. A lot.
A LOT.
A.
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!!And you want to kill me. Hence why I still haven't revealed my true identity....
AND you're my number one competition in taking over the board (sorry Crade - the only reason you have more posts than me is 'cause I was out for a week!).
Still, despite all that, I consider to be (believe it or not) a friend! (And you thought Empire Strikes Back was shocking!)
I don't mean to piss you off. Well, actually, yes I do.... But it's more of a friendly piss-you-off.... I hope you're not taking it the wrong way.... 'Cause you are actually a very awesome person when you're not scaring me out of my mind (hasn't happened in a while).
Last September, you swore that you would give up the forums. Well, thank Nouda you didn't! We're nothing without our psychotic, symbiote-loving, oppositely-colored-eyed, junior-mustached, sexually-uncertain killer with a shotgun!
And lately, you've been saying that you feel an "emptiness." Honestly, here's what I think - and DON'T take this the wrong way. I think that somehow, you haven't been true to yourself. Something you're doing just isn't you. There's a part of yourself that you're scared of, or upset about, that you're having trouble accepting. But here's the thing: It's you! If you're worried that others won't accept you, then you must first accept yourself.
And yes, I'm fully aware that that was super-cheesy, and you're not exactly one for cheese. But if it IS relevant to whatever you're going through, then I just hope you'll remember this: There's nothing more important in life that knowing who you are, and embracing it.
My name is David B. Jacobs. Here's a picture of me:
![](http://photos-d.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/hs261.ash1/18840_1369247353516_1301698109_31123877_8246884_n.jpg)