|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 2, 2010 21:10:21 GMT -6
taking a short break on here, be up back soon!
|
|
|
Post by cradleman on Apr 2, 2010 21:30:07 GMT -6
just caught up. very good so far. the storyline has me intrigued, and the interviews are awesome. can't wait for the next episode
|
|
|
Post by zane on Apr 5, 2010 18:47:45 GMT -6
Pretty cool so far Sports. Keep it up
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 5, 2010 18:49:56 GMT -6
thanks, new chapter will be up soon, taking a different approach to keep things fresh, hope it works
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 7, 2010 18:37:03 GMT -6
Episode 3: Broken
FROM SHAWN’S POINT OF VIEW
So there I was, thinking, we’ve been buried for seven years, and you couldn’t give us one day off. I mean, I haven’t even said ‘Hi’ to my best friend, Brad, yet. Thanks to Blake who had knocked him unconscious. Jonathan rose up from behind the boxes that were thrown in the corner of the room. I really wanted to beat the crap out of him…again
“I really hate to break up this family reunion, but this has been seven years past due”
Jonathan charges up a beam in his hands, it glow a bright purple. I remember the every time I saw that horrific purple glow, I saw my life flashing before my eyes. I saw my life a lot of times that year. And now he has returned, to bring that fear back into my life, and to my friends’ life. I jumped in front of them, ready to take any punishment that he had sent their way
FROM JONATHAN’S POINT OF VIEW
Finally, the chance to destroy this “Chosen” clan, I can’t believe my father would turn on me like this. I mean, I know prophecy said there would be a chosen, but who believes prophecy. I had them beat; I knew it that was until for some damn reason, my powers were short. I saw the look on Shawn’s face when the beam barely stung him. It was almost like we were drained. I couldn’t even fling a small fireball at them. So I took things into my own hands.
FROM BLAKE’S POINT OF VIEW
So when Jonathan gave me that evil look in his eye, I knew it was time to bail, so I grabbed Abby and dove to the ground near Brad. Just in time, because Nick and Shawn both were tackled to the ground. Jonathan may have looked pretty weak. But I swear he took wrestling the way he beat them. I do find it odd still. This great sorcerer…of all things he could have disguised himself as…he chose a teenager.
FROM BRAD’S POINT OF VIEW
…………………………………………………………………………………………
FROM ABBY’S POINT OF VIEW
Ugh, Blake got dirt in my eye…Why did I decide to wear this shirt here…I love this shirt, now it’s going to get all ripped and dirty and I’ll have to buy a new one. This sucks!
FROM NICK’S POINT OF VIEW
Jonathan’s powers were completely sucked out, of course, we used a lot being in a hibernation state for seven years. So, we were all pretty much out of powers, looks like this is physical now. You’d think me and Shawn would have an advantage being two on one, but this guy was a sorcerer, he knew how to fight.
Nick was thrown into the boxes against the wall. They broke on impact, sending wood and whatever was inside everywhere. Shawn and Jonathan fought with their fists, blocking each other’s hits almost as if it was choreographed. Jonathan would uppercut, Shawn would dodge back, and go in for a lunge, but Jon knew what he was doing. That’s when I realized I should probably help, until I saw what was inside the box I landed in.
FROM ZANE’S POINT OF VIEW
It’s intense; I’m sweating like a pig. I hope my strategy works well enough to where I can flank him from the right. Please…come on, come on!!! YES! HE did it! Goodbye Queen! Zane moves his bishop which was hiding behind a pawn, into the queen, sending it off the board.
FROM RODNEY’S POINT OF VIEW
S*** I didn’t see that…since when did Zane become so good at chess? It must be all those war games he plays; I guess they are good for something!
Back in Egypt
I held the necklace with the emblem on the end of the chain. The artifact that woke up the sorcerer, who was just waiting for the right moment to destroy us. If only we knew about it, we would’ve never put those two pieces together. Hey it activated our abilities, but little did Pridion know, that his son was waiting at the moment we did it. Ironic how he can read prophecy..he knows he coming back alive, but what he did to protect it, actually brought him back to life.
I held the necklace tight around my arm, wrapping it around my wrist to keep it held there. I looked further in the box, and there were swords. These archaeologists must’ve found our old battlegrounds, after we formed ourselves from the sands.
“Shawn!” I yell, and as he looks I toss a sword his way, grabbing one as I go.
“Nowhere to run now, Jonathan, your through!”
“You’d think so. “He uses what is left of his power to jump high enough to grab water pipes from up above. He hangs onto it, and pulls down; ripping the pipe of, the screws fly down to the ground, and water begins to slowly drip down.
“I still have a little fight in me!”
The fight continues in a sword-like fashion, just as Brad begins to come to light
“Whoa, what’s going on? Last I remember there was this scream, and someone hit me, right on the head.”
“Yeah, that was…” Blake ducks down even lower to the ground as a sword flings his way. “Me…oh and Jon’s back!”
Brad turns around to see his two friends fighting the sorcerer, Shawn, without his sword.
“That’s….That’s….THEM!” Brad says in shock.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.” Blake leads Abby and Brad to where they entered, only to find the door is jammed.
“No wonder the guards didn’t come in.”
Jonathan ducks below Nick’s sword, and kicks Shawn under the pipe, where water was slowly falling, the water falls down his hair and onto his face slowly. He smacks Nick’s hand causing him to drops the sword. Jon grabs it, and hits Nick in the face with the end of the sword handle. Shawn watches, trying to get up.
“So, you still have my brother’s necklace.” Jonathan said. Nick is wipes the blood from his lips, and only notices one thing, “Your brother’s?”
“Nick, don’t let him have the idol, he’ll just suck out what’s left of the power!”
Nick struggles to get onto his feet, but is able to run toward the door, Shawn stands up and stands firm against Jon, who walks slowly forward, carrying Nick’s sword
“Stand Back” Nick says.
He holds the necklace in his hand, focusing on his power, the idol begins to glow and a blue beam shoots from his hands, blowing open the door, sending it flying.
“Go!” Nick yells, following Blake, Abby, and Brad out the door. Shawn slowly backs away from Jon, who stands there in a confident stance, knowing any minute he will attack.
“So…who’s this so-called brother you mentioned?”
“My brother…just another sorcerer who is still alive, he came back before I did…looking for that idol you hold…which brought me back from hibernation.”
“So you two were in it together?”
“Sort of, I never found him, but luckily, I was able to get that idol from you, which gave me the power anyway, he’s probably pissed I didn’t wait for him, but it isn’t my fault”
Gotta love it when the bad guys reveal their plans and thoughts to us good guys.
Shawn gets closer to the door, and stops suddenly. A small box flies toward Jon, and hits him right in the back of the head. He loses the sword, which Shawn is able to pick up. However, Shawn feels the lack of energy from using the telekinetic power. Shawn limps out the door, while Jon tries to endure the pain, and deal with a few splinters.
Shawn stands outside, nobody around on the outskirts of the town. Nick and the rest stand outside a large fence, which was guarding the safe house.
Shawn gets about halfway to the gate, when Jonathan stands right outside the safe house. You can see his power charging, everything was coming out.
Shawn looks back at Jon, and then to Nick, “Nick, toss me the idol!”
Nick looks at him in confusion, “Are you crazy?”
“Nick!”
“Shawn, if he…”
Brad grabs the idol from Nick, and tosses it over the fence. It flies toward Shawn, who grabs his sword, and slices the idol right in half!
Jon’s power explodes right in his face, sending him flying against the wall of the warehouse, and Nick and Shawn fall flat on their backs.
Brad looks around, and walks over to Shawn, while Blake and Abby tend to Nick.
“Shawn?”
..................................
I stood I in the bathroom, I had just gotten out of the shower. I stood there nude, looking at myself in the mirror, thinking over and over, “That lucky bastard”
I soon felt this strange feeling flow through my body…I had felt it before, but it hadn’t been for a while…I knew what had happened, I knew what was going on, but I couldn’t handle the power…
I…I….
His body falls against the wall
...............
I was just watching the television, when the loud noise struck the wall. I looked back and yelled his name, but nothing came back my way. I started to get worried; I jumped off of the couch and ran back into the bedroom. I turn toward the bathroom and open the door. But it wouldn’t open. Something was blocking it. I push with a little more force where I found Rodney lying across the bathroom floor, motionless.
|
|
|
Post by spideyfan914 on Apr 7, 2010 20:35:38 GMT -6
It doesn't fit on my screen - can you get rid of some of those dots?
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 7, 2010 20:47:29 GMT -6
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH okay...just for you, it wasn't like that on word ![:P](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/tongue.png) i forgot it changes that
|
|
|
Post by spideyfan914 on Apr 7, 2010 22:56:01 GMT -6
Thank you!
And I loved the Zane and Rodney P.O.V.s - that was great. (And I love chess, btw.)
Oo.... Methinks Rodney's the other sorcerer....
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 8, 2010 20:04:23 GMT -6
Character Interview 3: Shawn
Because of difficult schedule, I was unable to get to talk with Shawn in person; however, I was able to get him online with AIM. Gotta love the internet!
“ChosenShawn_400 is now online” is the message that pops up from the bottom of the screen.
Oh good, perfect timing! Sportsfan23 writes: Shawn? u there? ChosenShawn_400 writes: Sports? how did u find me…I blocked u Sportsfan23 writes: u what!!?? ChosenShawn_400 writes: never mind, sup dude? Sportsfan23 writes: well I was hoping I could get an interview with you, u know to kinda keep the story fresh? ChosenShawn_400 writes: was this in the contract? Sportsfan23 writes: ....... ChosenShawn_400 writes: ![???](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/huh.png) ? Sportsfan23 writes: So how did you first feel when you found out you and nick had the same past ChosenShawn_400 writes: I never…oh forget it Sportsfan23 writes: u think u have it bad, I’m interviewing my own character, does that spell awkward for ya? ChosenShawn_400 writes: ….do you really want to do this? Cuz all I gotta do is hit ‘sign off’ and I’m gone! Sportsfan23 writes: yes..yes, ok, so? ChosenShawn_400 writes: so everyone knows, or should know if they read Brad Davis’s book that in the beginning I was lonely and afraid. I wanted to know who my family was. Well, turns out my family lived over 4,000 years ago. However, when I found out that I was merely brought back to life as a child, and that Nick was too…he was practically family to me. Even though we didn’t know each other at first, I did feel this connection we had between us, other than the idol. My real family though, was and always will be the Davis family. Sportsfan23 writes: u and Brad always did have a connection, didn’t u? ChosenShawn_400 writes: Hell ya I did, hell, I lived the first 15 years of my life with that boy, he’s my brother, and will be even if this is my second life. Sportsfan23 writes: What’s your connection with the other guys, such as Blake and Abby? ChosenShawn_400 writes: Well Abby was Brad’s little sister, so I’ve known her since she was born…but Blake, that’s a different story. I met him at a baseball game to be exact. The Florida Marlins were facing off against the Red Sox, and I was like thirteen? I think, anyway, so I was doing those batting games they have outside, you know where you hit a plastic ball and you have to hit it through those holes and you get points? Yeah those games…I sucked…bad, so bad that while I hit the ball, I lost my grip on the bat, and it hit little eleven or twelve year old Blake…how old is he now?...right in the crotch. We ended up being friends though and kept in touch, me and Brad both did. Sportsfan23 writes: Maybe my next interview should ask whether Blake will ever be able to have kids…LOL ChosenShawn_400 writes: What? lol Sportsfan23 writes: nothing, thinking out loud…so, if you don’t mind me asking, seven years ago, during about the last few days of the whole Sorcerer taking over the world thing…what went through your head? Also, in the end, what was the plan? ChosenShawn_400 writes: Well, I never ever ever ever would have guessed that this was all real, until I saw Nick levitating that book…everything changed…I was like sweet, until I realized that Jonathan was just a creep in disguise...I realized what I was really put on this earth again for…it would’ve been nice if Pridion gave me my memory as well, but it’s all good…and as for the final battle…the plan was to just destroy the idol on the necklace…I knew that it was his source of power and that everything would be over, I didn’t know if we’d live or not, but as Jon blew away in the wind, he put some spell that reversed it to us as well. It ended up just transforming us. We never died, just fell to the ground, and our bodies slowly formed back together…I know it sounds creepy, and I am sooo glad that I was asleep for that. But it was all hibernation, and now, I’m awake and the necklace is finally destroyed. Sportsfan23 writes: You know there are always consequences to your actions. ChosenShawn_400 writes: What’s that supposed to mean? I immediately sign out, not wanting to reveal to him anything…
Shawn sits at his computer, reading the message that says, “Sportsfan23 has signed out”
“Son of a bitch, what did he do now…”
|
|
|
Post by spideyfan914 on Apr 8, 2010 20:19:47 GMT -6
He stretched out the story for another six chapters, that's what.
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 11, 2010 1:43:29 GMT -6
![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) oh you know you like it... next chapter should be up in a few days...it will be different...Spideyfan knows how lol
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 13, 2010 19:59:24 GMT -6
(I hope this episode/interview is really the best one yet, thanks to some advice, I worked really hard on the part of the story that is an episode, in its writing and sentence structure. I re-read and edited this thing like five times hoping to get it perfect. This episode is also mainly for the two new characters from Zane and Frosty and a turning point in the series)
Character Interview & Episode 4: Rodney (Shadow of Death_
Zane stands next to Rodney, who is still passed out on the floor. He is wrapped around in a towel now as the two paramedics check him out.
One of the doctors was about in his mid-thirties, had a clean-shaven face that was almost perfectly shaped. His partner was a little older, he was really the one who stood back and watched out for anything, or helped him if needed.
After much examination, they decided it was safe to move Rodney to a more accessible area. Zane instructs the doctors to the couch where they lay him on, softly.
While the doctors continue examining, Zane asks in a worried tone, “How is he, what is wrong?”
“Well, son, as far as I can tell, he has broken bones, there is no blood…he may have just fainted...”
The older doctor walks over with a small flashlight and opens his eyelids, shining the flashlight into his eyes.
The doctor continues, “…But we will make sure to get him to a hospital, he has a pulse, but…This is something like I’ve never seen.”
“Doctor, you may want to take a look at this…” the older doctor says in a feared tone.
He walked over and looked into his eyes. The doctor’s eyes widen, and his heart starts to pound, almost as if he was scared.
“My god, what…what happened?”
Rodney’s eyes were pure black, they looked like an empty dimension, an empty socket…there wasn’t even a shine in the light.
“Guys, what’s going on?” Zane asks
The two doctors look back at Zane and then at each other, not knowing what to say.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Rodney: “Yeah, I bet that freaked them out…I mean, my whole eyeballs were like pure darkness, I’m glad I wasn’t looking in a mirror.”
Sportsfan23: could you maybe explain a little bit of your past, and why you weren’t in the last season?
Rodney: I was in the first season; I was just never seen or heard of, you could blame frosty for that if you wanted as well though. I could blame you too…but as for my past. My character, as you now know is the other sorcerer. He is also the one that Jon mentioned, his brother.
We were both sons of Pridion, and I, being the older one, usually made up all the plans and ideas. After Pridion gave him his amazing powers, I brought him to a back room, over 4,000 years ago…damn, it seems like it was just yesterday…and told him that, we have power, and we are going to use it.
He went over the whole pharaoh and crazy dumbass gods of Egypt
I said to him, “F*** the pharaoh, we are going to be the new rulers of Egypt”
So, we did, we completely wiped out the city of Cairo, and killed the king at that time…and that’s when our loving father decided to choose two people to take us on. Jon was destroyed along with the chosen; however, I lived on, and made sure that our futures were well written at hand.
In fact, remember that missing page in Blake’s book last season? I may have had something to do with that
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Zane sits down in the waiting room. He held a cup of coffee in his hand. His eyes were bloodshot red, and his hands were shaky. It was two o’ clock in the morning now. Doctors came in and out of Rodney’s room, bringing in other doctors and nurses, who left to bring in another. For Zane, it seemed like an endless cycle.
Occasionally he’d take a peek into the room, just to see what was going on, but he only felt disturbed when he saw his friend being strapped to machines and doctors running around him, confused. He knew this was something serious if even the average doctor couldn’t understand what the issue was.
As the hours past, he became more and more sleepy, he leant his head against the wall, and his eyelids drifted slowly to a close. Soon, the receptionist heard a splash in the lobby. She peeked around the wall and leant over her desk. The only thing in plain sight was coffee all over the floor, and Zane out like a light.
Zane lets out a big yell suddenly has he finds himself on the floor of the hospital. The cold coffee covered the right side of his face. There was also this pain in his elbow, probably where he had fallen to the ground. He wipes the coffee from his face using the end of his t-shirt. When he finally takes a moment to look around, all he sees is destruction, all he smells is the stench of a rotting corpse and blood, and all he hears are people screaming and gunfire in the distance.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Rodney: Yes, of course that was caused by me; any moron would’ve gotten that, what kind of questions are these anyway?
Sportsfan23: could you maybe tell us the story of what you did that night?
Rodney: Well, if it gets me out of this interview faster…
_ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ __ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
I woke up with quite a shock; I didn’t really expect what I was seeing with my own two eyes. What I saw was the doctors all backed against the wall, I guess my appearance scared them. But what scared me was how I was strapped to machines and had these horrible people around me. Also, I was wearing those blue gowns they give you, god, I hate those things.
I tore the plugs off of my body, ripping them like paper, and jumped out of the bed. All the doctors struggled to get out the door, pushing through each other. I hadn’t even done anything evil to scare them…yet!
I ripped off the gown and wrapped it around my waist to at least keep things modest. When I turned around to face a mirror, I could understand why they were scared. The sorcerer’s power completely changed my outsides. I had a reddish tone to my skin, my eyes were pure black, and the tattoo of a dragon on my shoulder had a yellow glow. Not gonna lie, I did not expect that.
It was time, from that point on; I was going to finish what Jonathan could barely start, rule over this pathetic land. I blew out of the doors, hovering in the air, I created a shockwave that sent who was left in the hospital screaming and running. I looked over to the right and saw the horrible surgeon who wanted to cut out my eyes and examine them.
I grabbed him by the collar and scraped both of his eyes out with my hands. He screamed in pain as his sockets bled out, his hands covering his face. I threw him back into my room where he had fallen onto the tray of surgical knives. I really never meant to kill the guy…yet!
I had looked over to the left to see Zane, sleeping through all the screaming. One of my only true friends, I couldn’t let him see any of this; I had put a magical aura on him to make sure he slept through the rest of the day.
After taking care of any nearby civilians through harsh punishment, I blew through the hospital entrance doors, I could feel my body getting bigger and stronger as I embraced the power. People immediately run away at the sight of me, but I made sure they didn’t get far. Ambulances and fire trucks came to the scene with many police cars following. I made sure it would be their last ride…
_ _ _ _Six hours later_ _ _ _
Zane walks out of the hospital, he looks up at the red skies that were filled with lightning and thunder. He looks around, scared out of his mind as all that is in his line of vision is blood and death. He glanced over in a nearby ally to see movement. He quickly ran over to assist the person in need.
An elderly woman, who had to be over seventy, crawled into Zane’s arms. Tears filled Zane’s eyes as he looked into the dying eyes of his grandmother. She had a metal pole wedged through her chest, half of her body was burned down to the muscle and part of her hand was completely destroyed.
Zane grasped that hand. Blood was smeared onto his face has his grandmother touched his cheeks, and with her dying words, she said, “There will always be a hero…”
Zane fell to his knees; he laid her softly on the ground, and cried over her.
|
|
|
Post by spideyfan914 on Apr 13, 2010 20:18:34 GMT -6
Intriguing.... Wonder what'll happen next....
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 25, 2010 1:15:00 GMT -6
(longest episode yet! This episode also contains hardly any talking scenes. I kind of wanted to set a more different tone with it, and I'm hoping it works. There are a few scenes I don't like the way they are written, but I'm sure that my C-man will point them out to me lol hope you enjoy this!) Episode 5: Ghost Town Shawn opened his eyes slowly; everything was blurry at first, but after a while, things began to clear up. He was lying on a comforter that was draped against some boxes. He looked to his left and saw Blake and Brad listening to an iPod with one earphone in each other’s ear. They were leaning against the wall. Both of them had their eyes closed, and he couldn’t tell if they were asleep or awake. He looked to his right and saw Nick sitting down reading, and Abby leaning on his shoulder. Shawn took a moment to actually gain his conscience back, but what really woke him up was a random bump that shook the whole room. “Oww, damn, that hurt.” Shawn says in a normal voice. “Shush, we got people trying to sleep here.” Nick says softly “I bit my tongue!” “Man up!” Shawn gave him a look, and then glanced down to Abby. Nick looked down to her as well and then winked at Shawn. Shawn smiled, and offered a fist bump, Nick immediately responded. “So, dude, where the hell are we? And what the hell happened?” Nick closed his book, and lied it down on the ground, while he tried to re-adjust his seating without waking up Abby. “Well, after you destroyed that idol, we uh, fainted, on the spot!...You, me, and Jonathan.” Nick continues, “The guys then brought us back somewhere…I’m not really sure, I was kind of fuzzy through the whole thing, and not completely out. Brad said we were heading back to Florida, after that I was gone.” “Where’s Jonathan?” Nick pointed toward the back of the plane; Shawn looked over, and saw nothing, but Nick nudged his head, encouraging him to look further back. He walked over past a couple of storage boxes and then he saw him. Jonathan was cuffed up to the wall of the plane, his head dangled and he looked as lifeless as a dead person. Shawn walked back over to Nick, and whispered, “So, um, that’s not going to contain him win he awakes” “Oh I think it will…” “What?” “We don’t have our powers anymore” At that moment, a huge blast threw the plane almost, if not all the way, sideways. Shawn flew back against Brad and Blake, who immediately woke up, and Nick held on to a handle on the wall, while also holding onto Abby’s waist, keeping her from falling. “What the hell?” Abby screamed Jonathan immediately woke as well, his legs were almost dangling in mid-air they were so sideways. The plane then began to straighten out; Blake kicks Shawn off, and complained about his broken iPod. “Dude, what happened?” Blake yelled out to the pilot “James!” Blake slowly stood up, and then opened the curtain that led into the pilot’s room, and all he could see was smoke. Blake began to cough as he tried to see through it, but once it cleared up, the only thing he saw was red. “My god!” Blake yelled. The gang immediately ran up, to look out the front of the plane; however, there was no front anymore. The whole control room was blown off, and they were riding a glider now. The strange thing was, the plane wasn’t the worst of their worries. As they look out below to their beloved town, the only thing their eyes looked upon was fire, darkness, and red in the sky. “Is this Florida?” Brad asked. “Yeah…yeah it is…” Shawn replies Shawn stared down a water tower that had been blown open, and water was flushing out of it. He knew this was Florida because near that water tower was where he had his first date with a girl, and his first kiss. It was the greatest night of his life, and everyone could see the sadness in his face as he stared at the rushing water that looked like blood, due to the color of the sky. The sight-seeing ended quickly when out of the tallest towers of the city, which wasn’t that big in the city they lived in, they saw a bright projectile coming right toward them. Nick immediately pulls everyone back into the main part of the plane and then dives back as well; they all stay low to the ground of the plane. They knew the impact was coming, but it seemed to take so long for it to finally hit. When it did hit, it did some damage. The plane rolled several times in the air as it was sent flying toward the ocean in a blaze of fire. Everyone inside rolled around striking against the walls and the boxes that flew around inside. Jonathan, who was still chained up against the wall, was screaming in pain as his wrists were bleeding and broken from not being able to move. Within seconds of all the turmoil, they find themselves underwater. Brad was the only one mentally awake. He quickly looked around has the water filled up the destroyed plane. The good news is that the back of the plane was blown out so all they had to do was swim up; however, it was also creating a suction of water flowing into the plane, making it hard to fight against the current. The plane slowly sank and water quickly filled. Jonathan was screaming out and quickly losing air as his the water turned red from his bleeding wrists. Brad looked down to see Nick and Shawn gathering Blake and Abby slowly, but surely. Brad decided to help out Jonathan. He swam against the current, pushing off of the floating boxes, until he was able to grab Jonathan’s leg. The current began to quit now as they were completely under water. Brad pulled himself up Jon’s body, and grabbed onto the chain against the wall, and pulled out the keys he was holding in his pocket. He began to put the key into the lock when a huge fish swam quickly through the plane and scared him. He dropped the keys and they slowly fell down between some boxes. Nick and Shawn grabbed Blake and Abby, who were both unconscious, and began to swim upward out what was left of the plane. Nick looked at Brad and Brad nodded at him. Brad then swam down to the boxes. Brad pushed one of the boxes over, only to have a load of tools to fall out of them, and make it even harder to find the keys. Brad dug through the random tools, while glancing up to make sure Jonathan wasn’t dead. Nick and Shawn grab a huge breath at the ocean surface. There about a mile away from shore. Shawn carries Blake around his back, “Brad and Jon…please tell me they were right behind us!” Nick gives him a concerned look, before he realizes that Blake was thrown on top of him. Shawn quickly dives down again, but he can’t see anything but darkness. He goes deeper and deeper, but nothing is seen around him. He was literally thinking about drowning himself right here and now. How could he live without Brad? But he saw a glimpse. Brad was swimming up with an unconscious Jonathan around his shoulders. The sight gave Shawn an extra amount of air, and he swam down lower to help Brad. They reached the surface and regrouped. Nick, Shawn, and Brad were each carrying a body on his back. Nick started talking, out of breath, “Okay, if we can make it to the sandbar and regroup, and also make sure these guys are okay, and then we should be able to make it to land.” “Nick, I’m not sure if land is as safe as the shark-infested waters were in now…” Nick turned around to face the land, which is about a mile away. Red skies filled the atmosphere of evil. They could hear people screaming and yelling as just the sight of the city spells death, “What has happened here? What have we done?” “I don’t know…but it’s some pretty messy shit” Shawn says. Once they reached the sandbar, Abby and Blake began to come to, however, Jon was still out, and his pulse was slowing down. He had lost a lot of blood. Shawn examined his wrists and they were completely broken. His hands flung around as if it was a toy. They were tossed and turned so much that the bones protruded the skin in so many ways, it was an unbearable sight. Blake tore off his shirt, and wrapped it around his hands together to at least keep them supported. It was getting darker and darker. The bright red they saw in the sky became a burgundy has the sun slowly went down. The water was becoming black and unable to see, and soon, all the screaming and yelling they heard disappeared with the light. They had reached the beach, it only took maybe forty-five minutes, but to them, it felt like three hours. They lied down for maybe ten minutes, just to rest, but then decided it was time to move on. They were all weak, and tired. They had a hard time just walking. Nick and Shawn led the way into the streets, even though they were powerless. Jon was being carried by Blake, who was giving Brad a break. Fire and destruction surrounded them. Buildings were blown up, roads were cracked, and the parks were burnt up. The stench of blood and rotting flesh filled the air as every new road led to a new pile of bodies and bones. The only light that was given in the city was if there was any fire kindled, otherwise, it was pure darkness, and that’s where they were… “My god, this is worse than 9/11” Blake mutters “This is worse than the apocalypse” Nick replies. They took caution searching through the streets. Shawn stayed watchful and diligent despite his condition and he made sure to watch the glowing purple eyes he saw in the alley ahead of them. The eyes that were watching their every move…
|
|
|
Post by spideyfan914 on Apr 25, 2010 10:33:07 GMT -6
Did you.... proofread?
|
|
|
Post by cradleman on Apr 25, 2010 14:58:16 GMT -6
cool! very good. yes, i have some suggestions for stuff, but i'll wait til you get on facebook. but awesome job, i'm very invested in the story
|
|
|
Post by spideyfan914 on Apr 25, 2010 15:07:09 GMT -6
What was really cool was that my dad's playing obnoxious music actually fit the mood perfectly. Lol.
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 25, 2010 16:07:27 GMT -6
I did proofread, but it was like 3 in the morning so im sure i missed some stuff and should've added or taken away, but oh well! lol
|
|
|
Post by spideyfan914 on Apr 25, 2010 16:15:43 GMT -6
No, I mean 'cause your spelling/grammar was surprisingly decent! It usually sucks....
|
|
|
Post by sportsfan23 on Apr 25, 2010 16:45:23 GMT -6
No, I mean 'cause your spelling/grammar was surprisingly decent! It usually sucks.... ![:D](//storage.proboards.com/forum/images/smiley/grin.png) YES! i know it usually sucks...i type faster then i should lol
|
|